My Health Journey

I entered the world of holistic health the way many healers do—through my own struggle with chronic illness. For 7 years, I battled a “mystery illness” that no one in the conventional medical system could explain. Over the course of nearly a decade, I saw countless MDs and specialists, yet not one could connect the dots between the 50-plus chronic, seemingly unrelated symptoms I lived with every single day.

What began as the sudden onset of panic attacks at age 23 spiraled into a long list of debilitating mental and physical symptoms that I was forced to navigate every day. Up until that point, I had never struggled with my mental health. Yet suddenly, I found myself receiving diagnosis after diagnosis—panic disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, PTSD, and eventually a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder, a label I carried like a scarlet letter. I endured periods of extreme insomnia, going two or even three days without a single hour of sleep. Over nearly a decade, I was prescribed every imaginable combination of SSRIs, benzodiazepines, stimulants, and sleep medications. The side effects were so severe and unpredictable that they sent me to the ER more times than I can count.

Physically, I experienced the sudden onset of food intolerances and allergies that triggered persistent digestive symptoms, including acid reflux, GERD, and gastritis. I developed symptoms commonly associated with autoimmune conditions like joint pain, swollen lymph nodes, and impaired liver and kidney function, yet doctors could never agree on a conclusive diagnosis. My hands and feet turned purple from Raynaud’s syndrome. My hair began falling out in handfuls in the shower, and the strands that remained grew dry and brittle. Bloodwork repeatedly showed abnormal liver and kidney markers, and at one point, a mass formed on my kidney that doubled its size. Alongside these issues, I faced a range of unexplained symptoms, including skin rashes, migraines, brain fog, and intermittent numbness and tingling in my extremities.

My entire life suffered from the toxic blow of this unexplained condition. Before I got sick, I was a college senior at USC, on the Dean’s List, surrounded by friends, brimming with energy, and fully immersed in every extracurricular activity I could fit into my overpacked schedule. I was on the verge of moving to Nashville after graduation to pursue my dream job in the music industry, working in A&R for Sony Music. I was free of mental and physical ailments, and happiness felt effortless. Once I became sick, that version of myself felt like a distant memory. In the years that followed, I couldn’t stop asking: “What happened to my old life? Will I ever get it back?”

From the outside looking in, it was hard to understand. From the inside looking out, it was hard to explain.

It’s difficult to put into words the dichotomy my life had become because, on the outside, I looked fine, but inside, my body was waging a war on itself. The truth is that this illness took everything from me that I once recognized, admired, and valued about myself. My life bore no resemblance to the version I left behind almost a decade prior.

I spent entire days stuck in bed, ruminating on to-do lists I didn’t have the energy or motivation to begin, let alone complete. I got so anxious at times that I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Each day I woke up with the hope that today would be the beginning of a new start. I put in what felt like 150% effort, while I watched others coast along. I went to bed every night with the notion that I hadn’t achieved nearly enough. I chalked it up to another day inside a body that wouldn’t work and a mind that couldn’t stop ruminating.

At the height of my illness, I was taking five prescription medications to manage the mental symptoms alone. I was taking meds to wake up, meds to concentrate, meds to relax, and meds to fall asleep. My entire life was chemically induced, and none of my emotions felt like my own.

I was also a regular in the emergency room, thanks to the physical symptoms that accompanied this illness. At my lowest point, I was admitted for stroke-like symptoms and unexplained bleeding from my mouth. After hours of bloodwork and imaging, I was sent home with a temporary Band-Aid: steroids, Benadryl, and yet another prescription for Xanax—but still no answers. Thankfully, it was from this rock bottom that I finally found a lifeline. That night, at my all-time low, I posted a desperate message on Facebook explaining my situation. A reply came from a college friend, directing me to a group called Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole—and that moment changed everything.

After hours of scrolling through tens of thousands of women’s stories that sounded all too familiar, I reached a verdict. As unlikely as it seemed, my intuition told me that my breast implants were the culprit.

“Save yourself a surgery,” the plastic surgeon who originally placed my seven-year-old Mentor-brand, textured silicone implants told me when I asked about having them removed. “I’ve been in practice for over 30 years, and you’re the first person who has ever wanted them taken out. You won’t like the way you look without them, and you’ll want them put back in. Save yourself a surgery.”

I still have regrets about that day. After weeks of self-conducted research, I regret not bringing him the facts I had uncovered about the dangers and complications of breast implants. I regret not telling him that both silicone and saline breast implants contain carcinogens, neurotoxins, and cleaning agents, among other toxic ingredients.

Additionally, there is a growing body of research concluding that breast implants can cause autoimmune disorders in some women. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released a worldwide recall of Allergan textured breast implants in a bid “to protect women from breast implant-associated anaplastic large cell lymphoma." Additionally, in 2021, the FDA added a black box warning to all silicone and saline breast implants to inform patients of serious risks like the rare cancer BIA-ALCL and systemic symptoms such as fatigue, joint pain, and cognitive issues, often referred to as "breast implant illness". This warning, along with a required patient checklist, is intended to improve the informed consent process for elective surgeries and highlight that implants are not lifetime devices and may require future procedures.

The proper removal of my breast implants was key to my recovery. Within a month of connecting the dots, I had scheduled an explant procedure with a BII specialist trained in the correct “en bloc” removal technique. I will never forget opening my eyes after surgery and feeling happiness for the first time in nearly seven years. The depression that had shadowed me like a dark cloud immediately lifted. My eyes shone brighter, my skin looked a decade younger, and I felt as if I could finally take a deep, unburdened breath.

Even more astonishing were the changes reflected in my bloodwork. Before the explant, my liver enzymes resembled those of someone with lifelong alcohol dependency. Within just two months, my results had "miraculously" normalized, signaling a profound shift in my body’s healing.

Day after day, my symptoms began to fall away, almost as if my body was exhaling after years of holding its breath. The physical issues that once ruled my life—skin rashes, stroke-like episodes, chronic flu symptoms, and liver and kidney dysfunction—started quickly disappearing one by one. For the first time in a decade, I could look in the mirror and recognize the woman staring back at me. For the first time in a decade, when I looked in the mirror, I recognized the person staring back at me. We all have the same hours in a day, and this illness has taught me how to live them with purpose, to treasure every alert moment, and relish every second of pain free bliss. My perspective has shifted from hopeless to limitless.

The best part about recovery is when we get to rediscover ourselves, to find our passion, and to find our purpose.

I am still learning how to be thankful for my struggle because, without it, I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength. I am learning that I’m not a victim for sharing my story, but a survivor setting the world on fire with my truth. I am no longer ashamed of my journey, as I have emerged with an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills me with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern for others.

The detoxification process after breast implant removal is complex and often lengthy, typically taking two to five years before full remission is achieved. Every few weeks, old symptoms may resurface in what is known as “detox waves.” With each passing wave, symptoms gradually decrease in both severity and duration, but it can be easy to convince yourself that the condition has relapsed.

After witnessing just how profoundly my body could heal once the toxic barriers were removed, I knew I had to seek out practitioners who truly understood this process. Against my doctors’ advice, I began working with several holistic practitioners who opened my eyes to the transformative power of natural healing. It was a completely different experience to work with people who actually listened and believed what I was telling them. For the first time in a long time, I felt seen and heard by a team of health professionals. In my opinion, creating this space to make our patients feel seen, heard and validated is one of the most significant steps in helping them self-heal that we can offer.

With the help of my team's guidance, I was able to reconnect with my own intuition, discover the residual imbalances almost a decade of toxic breast implants had left me with and completely heal myself through nutrition, targeted supplementation, body work and somatic therapy.

Within one year I was down 70 lbs, medication-free and best of all, I was gifted with my life purpose, which is teaching others how to self-heal the way my healers have shown me.